She broke free from the iron-tight grip of her ultra-conservative Hasidic community — only to kill herself after years of struggling with that decision.
Tortured soul Faigy Mayer, who leaped to her death from a trendy Manhattan roof bar Monday night, was shunned by her parents for choosing to live in the secular world, relatives and friends told The Post.
The tragic woman, 30, posted touching old family photos on Facebook just six minutes before she climbed over the ledge of the 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar in the Flatiron District at 6:45 p.m. and jumped.
“My family refuses to allow me to have my baby pictures so finding these pics were cool!” the woman wrote above the snapshots.
The question was laden with symbolism. Jewish people pray in that direction, toward Jerusalem.
After the bartender pointed, Mayer walked over to a 4¹/₂-foot brick wall along the roof and put one leg over it, then the other, the source said.
The bartender ran to her and grabbed her hand, but she pulled loose and jumped, the source said.
In 2009, she appeared in a National Geographic documentary called “Inside Hasidism” — admitting that her loss of faith was a long time coming.
“It was actually at the age of 3 that I already showed no interest in Yiddish or Hebrew,” she said.
After she openly began eschewing the faith, “My parents, they were like, point blank, ‘You have to get out of here because you are not religious anymore,’ ” she said.
A source in the community who knew Mayer said, “Once you don’t feel loved by your own parents, it’s the end of the world. You hate yourself. You don’t want to live.”
Mayer’s parents’ biggest fear became a reality after she left home — one of her sisters also renounced their religion.
“[Mayer] was very worried about her sister all the time,’’ the source said.
But she put up a good front, defiantly mocking her former faith.
Mayer boasted on Twitter that she loved bacon, and skewered ultra-Orthodox wedding customs on Facebook.
“Hahaha my people are hilarious, putting the bride on a leash while covering her as if she’s the devil. #onlydogsneedleashes,” Mayer wrote July 5 in a post with a video about a “mitzvah tantz,” or custom dance.
The clip showed a man dancing in front of a bride and holding one end of a sash attached to the woman, whose face is veiled.
But inside, her distance from her family was destroying her.
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View of the Empire State Building from the rooftop bar at 230 Fifth in New York.Photo: Chad Rachman
A source described one particularly heartbreaking attempt by Mayer to connect with another family after being rejected by her own.
“She loved family. She used to beg to baby-sit the rabbi’s kids,’’ the source said. “It was like an outlet to relieve her pain, caring for the babies. It was a tremendous connection for her.’’
Mayer’s parents were still so bitter about her renunciation of their lifestyle that some of their anger continued even after her death, another source said.
Her family told her ex-Orthodox friends that her funeral would be at noon Tuesday — then scheduled it for 2 p.m., the source said.
“The family did not want the friends to show up to the funeral. It’s disgusting,” the source said.
Still, her parents and siblings attended her service in Borough Park. About one-third of the 150 mourners were ex-Orthodox.
And her stricken dad offered an olive branch to those from outside the community when he stood to speak — opening his eulogy in English rather than Yiddish.
“I did not prepare my speech in English. I apologize. I really appreciate you coming,’’ he said.
The dad then said in Yiddish, “We’re never going to recover.”
A source close to the family said Mayer was bipolar and schizophrenic, having been in and out of mental institutions for years.
“She changed her personalities almost as often as she changed socks,’’ the woman said.
A friend and fellow ex-Hasid, Srully Stein, 23, said Mayer also was “brilliant . . . a genius.’’ She was working on an app to help former Hasids like herself in New York City, friends said.
On June 30, Mayer posted a photo on Facebook of a mural at the High Line park.
“Yes, life is beautiful!” she wrote, standing in front of the pink letters with a paint roller in her hand.
A friend commented on the photo early Tuesday, writing: “Wish you believed it, girl. *hugs*”
Additional reporting by Amber Sutherland, Yaron Steinbuch, Kathleen Culliton
2 comments:
The way the media is portraying this case is pure anti-frum bias. Besides her mental disorder she was very anti, very disruptive, and a bad influence on her siblings.
The same media that makes mealy mouth excuses for Arab terrorists like the one in Chattanooga that nebich he had personal problems that led to the murderous rampage, hinting we are all bad for not having rachmones on the cold blooded Islamist killer, is spinning this that Faigy was a saint and a martyr, secularly speaking.
It's a complex situation. Whats the point in finger-pointing now? How about putting energy an resources into the mental health of our children with mental disorders who are neglected and left behind, so a story like this never happens again.
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